textual relations

wannabe emo hipster kids "love" snuggies.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:22:00 GMT

i'm so embarrassed for these guys. is that any way to treat messy-hair-gauged-ear-wannabe-emo-hipster teenagers? tell them they get to be models for their favorite store, hot topic, and then tell them that they have to wear teenage mutant ninja turtle snuggies?

every morning, these boys struggle to pull up their tight jeans over their scrawny legs. they tears their my chemical romance concert t-shirts, intentionally making the rips look unintentional. hours are spent doodling on black converse, reapplying eyeliner, flat-ironing hair. and you're going to tell them it's all in vain? the hours they spend looking like they didn't spend hours is all for naught because you're throwing them in what's essentially a sleeping bag with yellow boobs painted on it?

what torture!

turtle power!

poor things.

i hope something good comes out of it. like a really depressing song that's rife with unintelligible metaphors.

i bought a pair of glasses for $30.

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:15:29 GMT

a few months ago, The Work wrote an article about web sites that sell discount eyeglasses. i was always intrigued; although my current frames are prada, and cost just $130 by themselves, i usually pay a fortune for the lenses. my right eye is -3.75 and my left eye is -5.75, which means i'm basically blind, which means i need featherweight lenses so my glasses aren't a million pounds. and that, inevitably means, that they cost a million dollars. true story.

my friend sarah tried out one of the web site mentioned in the article, zenni optical, and said that everything arrived as promised. and the entire thing cost her like, $40.

because i wear glasses every day, i get sick of them fairly quickly. and dropping $400 bones on a pair of glasses every year is kind of ridiculous.

so i did it! i ordered myself a pair of glasses! total cost: $25, plus $4.95 shipping. and if they look completely terrible (which i'm sure they won't), i can wear them to the gym or something.

i'll update when i get them (they should get here in 2 weeks), with pictures and everything. huzzah!

i'm basically a chef.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:13:03 GMT

last night i made soup. from scratch. without a recipe. well, that's kind of a lie; i went on foodnetwork.com and looked up a bunch of different recipes, just to see the kind of things that go into soup. and holy shit, it came out really good! here's what i learned:

without a recipe and without my girlfriend telling me what to buy for a particular meal, i don't know how much of anything to get.

because i don't really know anything about "flavor profiles" other than that they say that on "top chef" a lot, i don't really know what spices go with what. and what flavors match other flavors. i looked at which spices were available to me, and basically decided to use salt, pepper, and paprika. and the only reason i used paprika is because my coworker emily told me i should...and not just because i'm part hungarian, but because it would be yummy. she was right. my ancestors are rejoicing.

cooking makes you not hungry.

making tasty tasty soup was cheap, easy, and rewarding.

here's what went in it: carrot, celery, kidney beans, white beans, onion, garlic, spinach, fire roasted tomatoes, and children's whole wheat pasta that's shaped like butterflies. it was basically the best thing in the world.

yum! so warm and tasty.

happy hanukkah!

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:50:55 GMT

fine. i'm a cat lady. whatever.

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:12:13 GMT

david hasselhoff is my hero. and you can be, too!

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:48:02 GMT

you can personalize your own poster. get me one for hanukkah, please.

an update on my gym-going routine.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:12:43 GMT

1) ymca. $55/month. next to my house. new equipment. was great and convenient until it stopped being convenient. when it stopped being convenient, i stopped going.

2) 24-hour fitness. $40/month. next to my work. next to the hairdresser's salon. old equipment, but who cares for the money. not a bad setup till i realized that going to the gym on my lunch hour is the worst thing in the world. and after work, i would rather spend time with my girlfriend than go to the gym.

the hairdresser belongs to gold's, which is basically next door to the 24-hour in the castro, and we had all these grand plans to go to the gym at the same time, then meet outside. our gym routines could be kept separate, so we didn't turn into that couple who does EVERYTHING together.

well, we kind of are that couple who does everything together -- and everything includes not going to the gym. and being out of shape. we're basically just getting fat together.

so.

3) gold's. $35/month. went last night. equipment was amazing. they offer 10 million classes that i probably won't ever take, but it's nice to have the option (sunday morning country line dancing!).

i joined the gay bath house that is gold's gym in the castro. how fun is that? i need to buy some new workout outfits to fit in with all those sweaty men. they're so stylish.

lindsay lohan is too artsy for me.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:04:14 GMT

this video is her "private party." looks like a pretty boring motherfucking party, if you ask me. tic-tac-toe? doodles? those are things you do when you're bored in a meeting (a *bored* meeting. HA!). not at your private party.

the worst part about this is that i think that's her singing. christ, lindsay. next time invite me to your private party. i'll bring my ipod, yahtzee, and some beer.

orange you shut the hell up.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:40:05 GMT

you know what i hate? peeling oranges. i hate it a lot. it's hard, it's messy, it takes forever. but i'm unnaturally afraid of getting scurvy -- bleeding gums!! nobody wants that. so i peel away and eat my little oranges, and curse the entire time.

i just spent 5 minutes peeling an orange that doesn't even taste that great. all because i'm afraid of getting a disease that i'm basically never going to get because i eat other things that contain vitamin c, so i'm never truly going to be deficient.

at&t fails as much as comcast does.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:51:02 GMT

remember? i hate comcast.

for those of you who don't know lorem ipsum, read this. for those of you who don't know how to read, what? and for all you others, lorem ipsum is commonly used placeholder text. it looks like latin, but really isn't anything. just a bunch of nonsense words strung together to show you what words will look like in the space you're going to put words in. a good example of when to use lorem ipsum is when you've designed a web site and want to show a mock up to someone, but haven't actually written anything for the web site yet.

here's a bad example of when to use it:

emily dreyfuss is a genius.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:11:54 GMT

i've been copy editing for almost 10 years now (holy shit) and there are a few style rules that i never understood. over the years, i've either accepted that i'll never remember or understand these rules, or i've just ignored that these rules exist at all.

now, i've seen many stylebooks in my day -- both internal style guides and various iterations of the ap stylebook (including this one) -- and never have i understood the following rule:

compared to, compared with When you liken one thing to another, use "compared to": Steve Jobs compared the new iMac color to the night sky. (He's likening the colors.) When items are juxtaposed to examine their similarities and differences, use "compared with": The company had a profit of $16 million, compared with a profit of $10 million in the year-ago period. (Yes, we're talking about profits in both instances, but we're talking about how the profits were *different*--hence the "with.")

this makes no sense to me. at all. because it just doesn't. they're both exactly the same.

in about 10 seconds, emily explained that you can really only say "compared to" if you can rewrite the sentence to be "compares to." therefore: the iMac's black color compares to the night sky. they're both the same color.

ok. i'm done.

lunch today is blogworthy, my friends.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:52:04 GMT

when is a sandwich post not a sandwich post? when it's a motherfucking SALAD post. and you know those only happen when i get a great salad. and this, my friends, is a great salad. allow me illustrate my point with a photo:

nutritious AND delicious!

it's from mixt greens. and here's what's in it: candied walnuts, fennel, pomegranate seeds, apple, asian pear, blue cheese, butter lettuce, and champagne vinaigrette.

i know, right? best ever.

in other news, i took pictures at our latest sandwich field trip, but have yet to upload them and slideshow them, etc. etc. don't worry. it'll happen.

monkey business.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:46:14 GMT

ok, fine, she's not a monkey, she's an ORANGUTAN, but whatevs. she's smart.

look! this orangutan takes pictures and has a facebook page where she shares the photos she's taken.

the camera is rigged to give her a raisin every time the shutter button is pushed. brilliance! i'd do it for free, which is why this orangutan is smarter than i am: she's getting a raisin out of it.

speaking of facebook, this guy updated his facebook status as the minister was marrying him. and then he whips the bride's phone out of her pocket so she can update her shit, too.

hi-lar-i-ous.

you may now proceed with your day.

ginger kids don't deserve to be kicked...or do they?

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:45:09 GMT

this story about the kids in calabases who kicked redheads, and were inspired to do so by a facebook (!) group that was inspired by a "south park" episode is so weird.

(you can watch the full episode here.)

poor little gingers! and i only say this because i am one. if i wasn't one, i'd probably kick them, too. they're creepy.

the year of giving.

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:43:08 GMT

i know new year's is a million months away (one) but i think if i blog about what i'm going to do, well in advance of what i'm actually going to do, it'll make me actually do it.

at least i hope so. especially this year.

i asked the hairdresser what she thought my resolution could be and she suggested that every month in 2010, i donate (money or time) to a different charity each month and then write about the organization i donate to. my donation cannot be less than $30, which i think is doable.

to ramp up my year of giving, i started out by donating the free soda i got with my lunch to my coworker jeff's fund for the bald and needy. he's bald and needy.

"i may be bald, and i may be needy, but thanks to karyne, i'm not thirsty!"

facebook is stereotyping me.

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:36:04 GMT

today facebook suggested i become friends with two very different people.

i have a really great girlfriend.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:16:49 GMT

we went to san diego this weekend for early thanksgiving dinner at the hairdresser's mom's house. her mom, however, has the flu, so dinner was canceled for all but around 7 of us. the hairdresser took over, making an amazing spread (green bean casserole, mashers, twice-baked yams, etc) and it was the best ever.

we got home last night and on her bed was a giant pottery barn bag. a gift! FOR ME! it's blanket i wanted that we saw once when we were shopping together at pottery barn.

so soft!

she had to call pottery barn and pay for it over the phone, and then had her roommate go pick it up and have it waiting for me as a surprise! and it was an ordeal, because we were with each other every second of the weekend, and i'm fucking nosy so every time she got off the phone i'm like "what's up? everything ok? who was that?" she's a saint, dude... for not murdering me.

it's for all the help i've given her the last couple weeks, with moving and stuff. best ever. it's like sleeping in a pile of sheep.

this was outside my office this morning.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:10:47 GMT

i have some questions.

why didn't anyone tell me about this? where did it come from? why is there on bagel friday? can i eat a waffle and a bagel? or is that too many carbs?

EDIT: it turns out the waffle truck was here for a private event at the building next door. jerks.

princess gone wild.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:37:04 GMT

remember this?

bet you don't remember this:

a pretty accurate map of san francisco.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:28:10 GMT

(click to enlarge)

some announcements.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:23:18 GMT

who wants to go with me to this?

it's $6! and it's "sleeping beauty"! my favorite ever!

also, CNET employees get to go to SFMOMA for free! AND we can bring a guest! be my friend and you can save $15!

it's nice knowing me.*

*i accept bribes.

i want to work here. thank you.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:57:24 GMT

on friday we made homemade mac and cheese.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:18:51 GMT

mac and cheese is the best thing in the world.

homemade mac and cheese, where my girlfriend misreads 6 oz of cheese for 16 oz of cheese, is the best thing in the universe.

so cheesey!

on the side we had steamed broccoli and a yum salad. the mac and cheese had cauliflower in it (!) and mustard and onions and bread crumbs on top.

best thing ever.

then there was eggnog.

so tasty!

and then there was "wizard of oz."

so gay!

oh, and there was a fire!

so warm!

it was basically the best friday night of my life.

in other news, we're going to new york in february and we're seeing "ragtime." what else should we see?

grammar porn.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:01:52 GMT

here we have a list of grammar faqs.

although i disagree with some of them (please don't ever say "amongst"), this is a pretty comprehensive list of shit that people frequently have trouble with.

english = hard

unecessary quotations!

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:53:40 GMT

this made me smile and nod and then grin and then nod some more and then smile again.