textual relations

as seen on oprah!

did i tell you i'm training for a 10k?
i'm not actually going to sign up and run a 10k, but i'm training for one. i need some sort of goal that isn't just "run 3 times a week." so i figure pretending i'm going to run a 10k in 8 weeks is a good goal. that's 6.2 miles, for people who are metrically challenged. i just had to google that information, to make sure. maybe in the future i'll train for a half marathon. or maybe i'll actually sign up for a 10k. who knows! the world is my oyster bar!

this is the schedule i'm going to use:

Week Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
1 Rest 1.5 m run CT or Rest 1.5 m run Rest 2 m run 25-30 min EZ
2 Rest 2 m run CT or Rest 2 m run Rest 2.5 m run 25-30 min EZ
3 Rest 2.5 mi run CT or Rest 2 m run Rest 3 m run 30-35 min EZ
4 Rest 2.5 m run CT or Rest 2 m run Rest 3.5 m run 35 min EZ
5 Rest 3 m run CT or Rest 2.5 m run Rest 4 m run 35-40 min EZ
6 Rest 3 m run CT 2.5 m run Rest 4.5 m run 35-40 min EZ
7 Rest 3.5 m run CT 3 m run Rest 5 m run 40 min EZ
8 Rest 3 m run CT or Rest 2 m run Rest Rest 10K Race!

i found that online. CT means: cross-training, but i can also rest. EZ means: easy. whoever came up with these was an acronym genius! this schedule seems pretty good to me, as i've already been running 2-3 miles at a time, 3 times a week. i only walk up the hills, because i feel like walking up a hill is the same as running on flat ground. i'm not sure if that's true, but my huffing and puffing sure sounds the same.

the best part of my run is listening to pandora on my phone while tracking my run on runkeeper. i just looked at the most recent runkeeper run that i logged, and it seems to think that i just stopped around the corner, having run through the bushes and perhaps a house. how the fuck does it think i got home? i hate runkeeper.

i'm wearing my five finger gorilla shoes again, around the office. learning how to walk is hard. i don't know how babies do it. next week i'll try running in them again. and eventually, i think i'm going to get this pair, because they have a little more rubber on the bottom, and they're specifically meant for running outside. and they're even uglier than the first pair, so i will at least succeed in my goal of grossing out everyone around me with my weirdo gorilla fucking shoes.

the other thing i'm researching today is the pose method of running, which is basically where you don't kill your knees when running and instead of bouncing off the ground for momentum, you use gravity to propel you forward.

look at me! i'm an athlete!

now is the time to shut up.
really, dina lohan? you're mad because they said that lindsay went to rehab five times? you should be happy that they even mentioned your daughter's name, thus bringing her back into the minds of everyone, except for me, because i'm never not thinking about her. in any case, i certainly did squeal when they mentioned her name. maybe i should be her real mom. i'm not sure where i'm going with this.

speaking of "glee," how good was it last night? the funniest part was rachel berry saying that she'd like to sing a contemporary song with a dance beat, and the next scene is them singing "nowadays" from chicago. how is that contemporary with a dance beat? she should've sang the song about whipping hair, but i guess it would've been too much. like, there's only one contemporary "what people are talking about and what youtube is doing" song per episode allowed, and they filled the quota with the cee-lo song.

anyway, lindsay! they mentioned lindsay! this show really has a finger on my pulse, or whatever that idiom is.
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thank you for being so descriptive.
i'm installing all this nonsense onto my computer, and this is the error message that just popped up:

it's so funny, the stuff i'm installing (ilife '11, some jam packs for garageband) is going to take up maybe 10GB total of space on my drive. and i'm still in the 2002 mentality of "ZOMG I HAVE TO DEFRAGMENT MY HARD DRIVE!!!11! IT'S SO SLOW AND MY 1GB OF SPACE IS ALMOST FILLED!" but my current computer has a 250GB hard drive, which, in 10 million years, i will never fill up; especially because all my music is on an external drive, and i carry a 4GB thumbdrive on my key chain; and all my photos are in the cloud.

i should be a writer for SNL.
remember when i said that emma stone is like a rich man's lindsay lohan?

it looks like i'm not the only one who thinks so. i deserve $1 million for coming up with this idea first. nbc will be hearing from my lawyer.

this skit isn't that great, but she was really trying to capture the essence of lindz. which, obviously, isn't that great. and smells kind of like leather.

today i bought persimmons.
i've never eaten a persimmon before. i got it at the farmers market. did you know you eat it like an apple? well, you do.

i've been listening to pandora for 2 days nonstop, and i think it's sucking my brain out through my headphones. i created a danity kane station, which was definitely my first mistake. and now it's like beyonce and britney barfed all over my internet. which isn't a bad thing, but it's not a great thing, either. especially when i'm trying to work.

in other news, san francisco banned happy meals. i guess that sucks, but i don't really care as long as they don't ban god's gift to my waistline.

lindsay lohan hasn't done anything in a while, has she? her being in rehab is so boring! i hope she does something weird soon, to give me some writing fodder. i'm sure i won't have to wait long.

that dude, on the other hand, has some news. apparently she hooked up with xtina, who's been notably absent from my pandora. i think there's a reason for that: i disapprove of this news. the weird thing about this "news," though, is that it's really only showing up in indian gossip pages. like the i linked to right there. and this one. and this other one. the indians really love them some xtina gossip, i guess.

i ate an ike's sandwich.
you guys. i'm serious. stop what you're doing, no matter what it is, and go to ike's place and get yourself any sandwich on the menu. it was so good, and i tried taking a picture of my sandwich and i couldn't because it was just too overwhelming. like, i seriously found my favorite sandwich in the world. ever. of all time. it'd be like taking a picture of jesus. you wouldn't even want to, probably.

why hasn't anyone told me about how fucking good this place is?! i mean, i know people talk about it all the time, but nobody sat me down and was like, "karyne. get over there. right now." so really i blame you all for me not having eaten one sooner.

i had the threesome (that's what she said), which was some sort of barbecue and chicken and bacon and who knows what. the hairdresser had the reuben. amazing. we were super pleasantly surprised that the hype surrounding these sandwiches isn't just because they have a lot of meat (that's what she said)--they're actually flavorful, great sandwiches. i'm totally hooked. i miss it when i'm not near it.

year of giving, month 10.
this month i'm donating to the trevor project, which helps the gays. the gay youths, specifically, by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources. like a suicide prevention line and educational programs.

because it totally gets better.

lindsay lohan and jews.
she's a comedic SUPERSTAR! </sarcasm>

do people still say humm baby?
i don't even know if i ever knew what humm baby referred to, but i remember saying it in the 80s. or 90s. maybe it was the 00s. anyway, because the interwebz is a wonderful place, i found an sf gate story about the birth of humm baby. (see what i did there?) basically it's nonsense. that's what i like about it.

another thing i like is this giants fever that's spreading across town. perhaps even across the bay area, but i wouldn't know because i live in a bubble.

i'm a giants fan, always have been, because i'm from here and i like all things san francisco, even when it's bad (i'm looking at you, niners. i'm looking at you, parking situation in the mission). but in general, i've never really been that big of a baseball fan, although i go to at least a few games each season.

i've been a baseball HAT fan for as long as i can remember, though. i always picked hats based on colors and the team not being controversial (goodbye red sox, hello detroit tigers) because i never knew enough about baseball to discuss, lest anyone ask me about the team's stats. one time, while wearing a tigers hat, someone at a bar asked me if i was from there and that his sister was living there and what a great season and why am i a fan. all i could come up with is "it's a long story." that's definitely not a viable answer. at all. for anything. ever.

but this year, i've come back to my roots, rooting for my home team. i've watched the games leading up to the playoffs. the playoffs. and now the series. and next season, i'm going to watch these guys try to do it all over again. and i'm going to be excited for it.

this giants fever has reignited something pretty awesome: my team spirit. i've had it since i wore my little foster city falcons t-shirts in 3rd grade and sang the foster city song in the back of my friend's parents' car. i've had it since i painted my face orange and black and sang san mateo high's fight song at a pep rally for the homecoming football game. i've had it since i went to cu boulder, watched football in the snow and cheered for players who would later become NFL stars. and now it's back. i wear my giants hat with pride, and when someone asks me about team stats, players, or particular games, i actually have an answer.

team spirit and home city pride. humm baby.

the person who made this is my new hero.
as i told my friend who shared these with me: i want to encase it in lucite, and put it on my coffee table, and stare at it forever and ever. and then stare some more. i mean, the bricks! the look of resignation/drunkenness/confusion on her face! it's perfection.


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